THIS IS ME - RANT

20:28

I wrote the following after having a bad day. I wanted to express to you all that it is fine to get annoyed and feel hurt, to cry and to shout. However, letting it all build up inside is not alright. This was written on a day everything had built up too much...

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No person is perfect, no person is happy all the time nor do people want to be pushed around 24/7.

With my blog and YouTube I have to restrict myself from using swear words or laughing at crude jokes - when in actual fact, I do that on a regular occurrence; much to the disappointment of my family. Sorry mum and dad, you nicknamed me 'trouble' for an evident reason. For what seems like forever, this blog as been a mixture of crap 'inspirational' messages through different medias.

The thing that gets me most annoyed over a number of things, is the fact that the older generation keep telling us 'kids' to 'grow up' into 'young adults' - simply contradicting the first adverb (at this point I am unsure if I have indicated the right literary device, due to the fact that I was never properly educated in this at school)  they used at the start of their sentence - 'kids'. I am a child that by the society I live in, have been forcibly made to grow up into adults, way before we are classed as adults.

I am fed up in all honesty. I guess this is partly related to my existential crisis I have been having on and off for ages. The idea that there is no real logical reason for the existence of human life - just the idea that one day when we die, we have hopefully made God happy enough with what we have done on the earth that he will let us into the gates of heaven. We live for the sake of living. For the notion that hopefully one day we will have a break though and be living the dream.

It seems as if I am uneasy in the head to some. To me, I think sense but it is hard to express. It seems as if I am a negative teenager with nothing better to do than idolise teenage heart throbs such as Luke Hemmings; hoping one day he will rock up with a plane ticket and a shinny diamond ring with my name on it and hope that I will want to run away too. It will never happen. REALITY. I am a normal teenager who likes to express themselves over the internet - hopefully helping people relate to topics I talk about.

I never like to end my blog posts on a negative so this one is for sure the hardest to turn back around. I wanted to say that this is a personal place. I have no idea if people actually read this far or even care - I propose people don't. I have come to the conclusion that one day, I will slip the link to my blog (written on a piece of paper) under the door of my teenage son or daughter and hopefully have them realise that I understand more than they think I do. I dream of that day.

I know that I am happy. I am a positive person and it is natural to have days where you vent and get annoyed at individuals or situations. Here, is where I shall do that very thing. I will vent on my blog, share experiences etc. If individuals don't like what they read, they can simply vacate the area.

I hope you all understand, that I may be 'growing up'.

Anna x

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After reading this today, I wanted to share it with you.  This is what happens in my head when everything gets a little too much. I self doubt, I think to far into things and in all honesty, I feel pants.
I wanted to say that if any of you need to vent, you can. Send me emails or anything you want as a place for you to rant. I will be listening. I hope this has helped.

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